Election Day Story:

I mentioned to my mom that election day was coming up. I asked if she was going to go vote. 'Of course,' she said. 'I've got to go cancel out your father's vote.' My dad is a Republican, my mom is a Democrat.

'That's okay,' I said. 'I voted like you did, so we're still on the winning side.'

'Oh,' she said. 'We cleaned your room. We took off your mattress and box spring and vaccuumed and put everything under your bed. And then we put it back together again.' Okay, mom. Your point? 'Anyway, the point is, I turned on your radio and it was set to NPR.' I find NPR interesting and informative. My mom thinks its boring. 'And I looked at your father, and I said, "She's your daughter!"'

My father says to my mom, 'Then how did she get to be a Democrat?!'

Moral: I don't care how you vote, just vote!

Election Day Story, take 2:

I was talking to Nick on the tube last night, trying to explain what I knew about right brain/left brain function and the effect of the alphabet in society. I was speaking loudly because it was the Tube. And I had also had two pints of cider. Some drunk guy behind Nick (as we were on a Victoria line train with booth-style seats) slurred something about American Elections.

Nick looked at me and shook his head to ignore the guy. So I did. I kept talking, just as loudly.

Next time the train stopped, he got off. He walked past diliberately, saying very loudly about how Americans were all a bunch of fucking idiots.

I said, 'Just because I have an American accent doesn't mean I represent them all.'

Moral: Prove the drunken Brit wrong!