As I was coming back from the Jackson, MI Project Homeless Connect committee meeting yesterday, I started driving with the radio off, which was a great way to quiet my thoughts. I have been feeling overwhelmed with media bombardments recently, and so I just started thinking, letting my mind wander.

On the Feministing community, a trans woman had decided that she was joining the trans person boycott of the website -- far too many people were derailing comments, asking to be educated or refusing to respect the posters and commenters. I was also thinking about the altmuslimah post on how to defend Muslim women. I had also, for a while, watched the deadbrowalking LJ community, interested in their discussion of race in scifi and fantasy, but being afraid to join in, for fear of using my status as a privileged white person.

I recognize that what I am about to do can also be seen as derailing -- it may be seen as a play in the Oppression Olympics, or possibly "But that happens to me, too!" Or even, "Look at how enlightened I am!" But I mean it as a sincere attempt at recognizing my privileged statuses.

I am:

White
Cisgendered
Heterosexual/Cissexual
Married
United States Citizen
Upper Middle Class
Christian (Catholic)
College Educated
Employed
Healthy / Fully Abled
Normal weight/BMI
Health Insured
Literate
Securely Housed
Right Handed

( Which means: )

This is just a beginning, just a note to myself to keep thinking about it. I hope that other anti-racist allies, other opponents of the kyriarchy out there might want to jump in, as well.

Another good link, just because: Help! I've just been called a racist! by dear LJ friend cacophonesque, who I hope doesn't mind that I've linked her.

I spent four weeks last July learning how to go door-to-door, appealing to latent activists, and asking for their monetary support. I was given 5 hours in which to knock on as many doors as possible, and hopefully connect with about 40 people. Of those 40 people, 5-8 of them should, statistically, have given me money. My job was to make sure those givers gave me total, over the course of the night, at least $110. This was a job that took tremendous communication skills, the ability to think on your feet, and, surprisingly, is much more in your control than you would otherwise guess. So, in essence, the world to a canvasser is divided into givers and non-givers. But it put me in an interesting position to observe how people present themselves to strangers, which also said a lot about them. How they said "No" to me was particularly revealing.

It's canvassing season -- canvassers across the country are going door-to-door to talk to you about their pet issue. Here are some things to think about, if someone knocks on your door:

( 1. Political Agency )

I didn't unpack this fully. But I found the notes I made last August and wanted to write what I remembered -- because it's important for women who are faced with these decisions (either at their door or on the street) to understand that there is more going on than someone asking you for money for their pet political cause.

Last weekend, Tim and I did our registry. It wasn't the first try; it's probably more like the third. The first time was painful, because I was having a hard time articulating my vision for our lives. The last time I just gave in -- I don't like this form of gift giving, but people are going to give us gifts anyway, we might as well give them some guidance as to our tastes and preferences. Tim was amazingly supportive, reminding me of what I wanted in terms of materials (i.e. minimum of plastic and other disposable materials), and we made awesome teamwork that day.

( Twenty-Five Year Goals Based on Values )

Feministing, the feminist blog that I read, has a blogger who is writing a book about double standards. She asked what our "favorite" double standards are. Some of the answers are really interesting.

One person wrote in to point out that White Women who stay at home with their children are good mothers. But Women of Color who stay at home with their children -- with or without government assistance -- are seen as freeloaders, who are teaching their children to be freeloaders, and should be working. Despite the cost of childcare, despite everything.

Another pointed out that health care plans tend to refuse to cover birth control, but love to cover viagra.

Many people pointed out work double standards -- the fine line between bitch and push over, etc.

And then there were the relationship double standards. About how mothers are caregivers, but fathers are babysitters. About how men don't wear engagement rings. One comment, posted by Idolworshiper, goes,

If you're a professional woman who has children, esp. young children, your commitment to your job is constantly questioned. Asking for time off for a sick kid or an extended parental leave means that your job has fallen off your radar. You are a weak employee blah blah fucking blah.

If you are a professional man who spends time with his kids or caring for elderly parents, you are kind, progressive, evolved. It's always a plus for you, never a minus.

If you are a woman and you do housework (on top of your demanding f/t job) and cook and take care of your spawn, well that's what's expected of you, honey, and by the way, cant you work out more in all your abundant spare time so you can fit into your pre-pregnancy size 4 jeans again?

If you are a man and you do any housework without being asked to, or take care of the children happily, then yes, yet again, you are so evolved, so GOOD.

Fuck marriage. Dont do it, ladies.


Any other double standards, fine readers?

I had more to say, but I'm not sure I want to write about it. : /