First of all, care to take a moment to tell me how I've changed your life? It's a Wonderful Life (meme)

I've been in a strange mood recently where I've been seeking out the spiritual. This will be the third week or so I've wanted to go to Mass, but won't. The first week I didn't have my car. The second week I was working, this week I don't think there will be parking with the MSU craft show going on. Plus we're having a party in our apartment later today, plus I have a paper to rewrite and turn in tomorrow. I think, instead, I'll start an online retreat that I found on cacophonesque's friends page (because I was bored one day and reading my friends' friends pages). Maybe I'll at least learn to pray.

I think I want to become a student of the Catholic Church. I don't agree with a lot of things the Church says about contraception. I don't think we should be legislating against homosexuality and marriage for homosexuals. However, I do agree with the social justice teachings of the church. But all of my reactions are knee-jerk. I want to understand why these decisions and guidelines have been made. I want to understand the mechanics of them -- and make my own decision from there. I don't feel comfortable just waltzing into St. John Student Parish and joining the student group there. I'm going to be a second semester senior, graduating in May. It would be unfair of me to ask them to be friends with me. And I'm afraid they won't understand my struggle to understand and the positions I've taken in the meantime. (That sounds silly now that I've typed it.) But at the same time, I'm afraid to try to learn about the Church without any help or guidance. I think that my knee-jerk will take over, or that I'll become bogged down in the centuries of documents that explain our faith and way of life. I want to read The Theology of the Body, but that's a lot of reading that I'm not sure I'll fully grok by myself.

I'm trying my hardest to get Tim to understand that I feel lost in the Catholic Church, not put out of place by it. I am welcomed there, but I am not sure I welcome it. I want to. I want to welcome it, because I feel like if I gave up being Catholic I would be more lost than ever before. I joke about being a bad Catholic. But it's because I have an idea of how hard it is to be a good Catholic.

Advent starts today. At home, last year, the homily was about longing. I wasn't sure what I longed for last year, I had just gotten home from an amazing study abroad, where I had learned a lot about my vocation and my limits as an employee. I didn't really long for anything then. I know what I long for now. To be engaged, so that we can be married. For security, in the form of a job offer for May. Security in the form of being able to pay my bills. To understand my place within the Catholic community. All of these things, and more I don't really understand.

Maybe I can make a birthday candle advent wreath. It'll chill with Bridget's God-o-meter.

I wonder if you can pick up
My accent on the phone
When I call across the country
When I call across the world
I see you in my kitchen
I can picture you now
As you toast to your small town
And you drink the happy hour
I'm in London still
I'm in London still
I'm in London still
I took the tube over to Camden
To wander around
I bought some funky records
With that old motown sound
And I miss you like my left arm
That's been lost in a war
Today I dream of home and not of London anymore
I'm in London still
I'm in London still
Yeah I'm in London still
You know it's ok
I'm kinda happy here for now
I think I've finally grown up
And got myself a lover now
If I ever come home and I, I think I will
I hope you're gonna want to hang
At my place on Sundays still
Oh yeah I hope you will
'Cause I'm in London still
You know we got it sorted
We really got it down
To a fine art on Sunday
In our sleepy Sunday town
I wonder what I'm missing
I think of songs I've never heard
I'm dreaming of your voices
And I'm dreaming of your herb
I'm in London still
I'm in London still
I'm in London still
Oh I'm in London still
La la la la London still
I'm in London...

--The Waifs, London Still

3 Days until Rome
10 Days until Home

*backs up*
*makes a dramatic left turn*

NaNoWriMo 2006 is no longer something complicated. Now it is this:

An American In London: Vingettes on Public Transportation

I have decided.

I'm only 4000 words behind.

Belated, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY poor_cinderalex/cinderalex_pens! If you like Harry Potter fic, there is some at that second username. She says she's going to apply for hogwarts_elite when she's done with midterms, and I'm excited. :D

*clears throat*

I have come to the conclusion that Americans in London are lonely. I, for one, am extremely lucky to be living in a flat with two other girls who are extremely accomodating, resourceful, and independent -- and who are aware of other people enough to care for one another as best as relative strangers can.

Where ever I have encountered another American in London they stop and ask where I am from, what I am doing, and how long I've been/will be here. They stop and ask these questions in grocery stores, in queues, and in crowded underground trains. Londoners are very polite about my accent until I bring it up myself... and then they act as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Americans recognize each other by our accent (varied though they may be) and they strike up a random conversation when no one else would.

Laura and I went to Covent Garden to buy shoes. On the way home, we were talking about what to make for dinner, and the subject of Avacadoes came up, and this man started laughing at us -- which I thought was funny, because Londoners never seem to admit that they're listening to your conversation. And then he jumped in; he was American. He asked us where we were from, what we were doing, and how long we'd be here for. He was American. He'd be in London for 5 years, and he'd be here for another 2. He's originally from New York.

I have not had a conversation with a Londoner like that unless specifically introduced. Today at the Hospital I helped to teach at, Aneesa left the room. And only then did the teacher we were working with make that leap of conversation.

At the Sports Cafe, we met Alumni. One alum was so happy to see students wearing Green and White that he bought us three rounds. He had only been gone from the United States for ten days. He was only in London for the night. But he was lonely. And he appreciated that we were there. When Americans find each other, it's like going home.

*subject change*

Why does American TV make me so happy? It makes me feel so much at home to be in my little escapist world. I torrented S60, and I downloaded Heroes, and both of them make me wiggle with delight like a five year old who wants an ice cream sundae.

Sunday: I realize I do and don't belong here. Take a walk and wander London a bit. Decide that Truman Application and NaNo planning must get done.
Monday: Fight with Tim. I need to talk to him still. Decide that thinking about the Truman Application and NaNo is a bad idea right then.
Tuesday: My lunch leaks on me as I'm sitting on the Underground. Now I smell like vinegar. As a cherry on the top of the Sunday, a new review on that fucking article on Fleen about fucking Girly. This one accusing me of vilifying the author IN ADVANCE of him making money off of porn. Yes, of course. Because clearly I hate porn.

Please don't let today get any worse.

Am I living here?

Or am I a tourist?

Studying abroad is an experience particular.

10/6/2006 – Late at the Tate Britain

( Art! Madness! )

10/7/2006 – In Extremis at Shakespeare’s Globe

( Not Shakespeare, but just as good! )

10/7/2006 – Michigan/Michigan State Game at the Sports Café

So, the Spartans lost. Are we really surprised? ( And then the fun started! )

In a mere 6 days, I will have been in the UK for a month. In honor of that, and to keep myself from freaking out that I have done nothing, a couple of lists:

(To follow are journal entries detailing these adventures.)

Things that I have done:
Westminster Abbey
Portobello Rd. Market
Jack the Ripper Tour
Last Night of the Proms
Brick Lane Festival
Made Scones
Saw The Producers
Stonehenge
Bath
Thames Festival Fireworks
Fangirled the Children of Men Premiere in Leichester Square
Saw Children of Men
Natural History Museum

Things that I will do:
A Shakespeare production at The Globe
Football Match
Parliment
Madame Tussad's
See Baker Street
Greenwich to stand on the prime meridian
Chinatown
Soho
Bonfire Night
Tower of London
British Museum (Rosetta Stone!)
Victoria and Albert (Open late last Friday of the month)
National Gallery
National Portrait Gallery
Tate Britian (Open late first Friday of the month)
Tate Modern
Abbey Road
Go to Ireland (Not booked. D:)
Edinburg, Scotland (booked! Nov. 17 to 19)
Cambridge or Oxford

PS, Note to Self: Why do I still have no London icons uploaded? Both B and Crystal found me TONNES. (Hee, British Spelling.)

My Adventures this weekend:
( Westminster Abbey )
( Portobello Market )
( Jack the Ripper Tour )
( Last Night of the Proms )
( Brick Lane Festival )

You know... I don't have a London icon?

So, day two of the internship. Arrived this morning, found out that my connection to the network had come loose, thus the reason why my computer wasn't booting before. That was fixed, and it was lovely. I finished the project I started yesterday, which was cleaning up some photocopies so they don't look horrible for coming out of a book. I actually covered up copyrights, which I was a little squick on, but... I didn't really protest. Oh well, if they get sued, I guess I'm going down with the ship.

Then, I had a meeting with my supervisor about what I will be doing in the three weeks that she'll be gone. It's a combination of some grunt work preparation for a class she'll be teaching in October (and I assume I'll be observing), preparations for a class in an All Girls School and designing completely a peer mediation program, basically from scratch. (In my interview, they were really glad to hear I planned a project before. Yay Gold Award!)

And then I spent the majority of the rest of the day trying to get a picture of Frank Bruno that would be acceptable for holding up in front of a class. That involved wrestling both Gimp and Linux RedHat into submission.

And I've been assigned reading! I have to read a book about what conflict is, and what conflict resolution is, so that I can really understand what I'm trying to do. But, at the same time... I'm feeling a bit disconnected from what I'm doing. I don't understand the immediacy of it, I kinda want to know more about the policy part of it...

My supervisor's boss asked me what my major was, and asked me how the heck I got there. They apparently usually get Psychology students. They're doing what I think I want to do -- both direct works as well as policy. I think I need to ask, when I have my supervision this Thursday, to see if I can talk with the policy bits of the organization, and maybe get pointed to some essays and articles about why what they do is important. It's only day two, so I'm not horribly worried, but at the same time I'm going to have a hard time feeling passionate about what I'm doing if I can't find the reason WHY I'm doing it.

Okay, I'm going to go sleep. We are all getting up in the morning early, eating an English breakfast, and then going to register to vote at Ben Franklin's house. It'll be awesome.

Poll #804934 London Tag
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 27

Which of the following should I use to tag my London Entries?

Any other suggestions?