So, everyone keeps asking how my interview went. Thank you for asking; it's great that I have this much support.

( The interview went pretty well. )

Six pm on November 6th can't come fast enough. I think I may apply for another job just so not all of my eggs are in this one basket (even though this is the basket that I want...)

Name: Katherine Ditzler
Subject: American History
Grade Level: Eighth Grade
Lesson Objective: Students will understand the problem with labor in the economic recovery post-Civil War.

Welcome back to American History! We’ve been working on understanding the Civil War. We talked about the causes of the Civil War. Slavery was one of those reasons, but a more sophisticated understanding is that because the North was Industrial and the South was Agricultural, they wanted different things from their national government. We also talked about the events of the war – and concluded last time with General Robert E. Lee of the Confederacy surrendering to General Ulysses S. Grant of the Union at Appomattox Court House.

So, now the war is over. It’s time to rebuild. But there’s a problem. 8% of all white males of working age died in the war. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but let’s illustrate it.

Everyone stand up. Okay, there are twelve people in the class. You four will represent the South. Could you please stand to the side? The other eight of you will represent the North.

In the war, the Union Army was twice the size of the Confederate Army – that’s why there are twice as many people representing the Union. Each of these armies had about the same number of casualties; 25% of them died.

You two sit down, you represent the dead on the Union; if you could please sit down, you represent the dead of the Confederacy.

Who has more men left to work? [The Union]

Who has more technological capabilities, considering our understanding of regional agriculture and industry in the 1860s? [The Union]

Which region do you think has an easier time of recovering economically after the Civil War? [The Union]

There are other things to consider, as well. Do you remember Sherman’s March to the Sea, where he destroyed crops and the ability of the south to produce? How about the fact that the slaves are now free, and entitled to wages? Do you think these things would affect the economic recovery of the South? Why? Remember how the south is primarily Agricultural.

All right, very good! Now that we understand the economic difficulties of rebuilding after the Civil War, we’ll talk about the Assassination of President Lincoln and the resulting politics surrounding the period of American history called Reconstruction.

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Please evaluate:
* Can I teach this objective in five minutes?
* Do I have any way of knowing whether the students have accomplished the objective?
* Is there any way I can improve the flow of my lesson so that I don't waste any time?
* Am I engaging students in the material?

I got the interview.

Now all I have to do is fill out a whole lot of paperwork, figure out how to put together a five minute lesson plan (I'm thinking the differences between local/state/federal governments?), and hold it all together.

I am determined.

I think the results from my Teach for America application (i.e. if I get the full-day interview) come out at 10 am-ish today. Certainly weren't up at 8:30am EDT. (When does Daylight savings time end?) (Answer, provided by www.timeanddate.com, which is a surprisingly fabulous website: November 4th.)

I'm nervous.

Also, my throat is killing me! I can't decide if it's allergies or a cold, but considering Bridget-roommate is completely devoid of voice leads me to believe it's a cold and that I will be losing my voice in a couple of days. Ugh. I don't want to be sick.

Goal for the week: Finish my Feild Experience paper! It's actually the best week to attempt this. Next week I'll do my Global Governance paper, the week after my Australia paper, and then dead sprint to my senior seminar paper. If only I only had to do papers and there weren't midterms in there. Those muck everything up.

Teach for America interview yesterday. It lasted about a half hour, and I think it went okay. It's really hard to tell with phone interviews, because people don't give anything away with smiles and nods of encouragement. Though there were a couple of "Greats" as my interviewer typed. I have a feeling that the interview was entirely scripted -- or really well practiced. As I was halfway through the second day of interviews, I'm guessing that it was scripted.

She asked me about another project that I worked on for weeks and weeks and how I dealt with it. She asked me how I dealt with a difficult person. She asked me if I had ever missed any deadlines. She asked me how I keep track of things, because teachers have to keep track of things (On this point, I think I impressed her). She asked me if it was the parent's fault that kids didn't succeed, she asked me if I thought the parents didn't care if their kids didn't succeed, she asked me how I would get parents involved. She asked me what kind of things I would do to inspire my kids.

I'm nervous. I very much want to do this. I want to be in a classroom and inspire kids about government and history, while expanding their literacy. (I'm guessing that these are the subjects I am most qualified for.) I find out a week from today if I get the full-day interview.

The State of Michigan shut down last night for five hours, but apparently they finished an emergency budget this morning. They're taxing services, they've upped the income tax.

I finished my research proposal for my Senior Seminar class. The topic is The Satanic Verses controversy in the United Kingdom. I'm not entirely happy with the research proposal, but I find research proposals to be very weird things. I did a lot of research for it, but not quite enough -- I was having a very hard time finding anything in the Muslim voice. I think I've finally got a line on a couple of people to read/reference, but it's a matter of finding the material. And searching through British newspapers from August 1988 to about January 1990. The dates I'm not completely sure of, actually, but that's not a bad range.

I have to get moving on my two other papers, while at the same time continuing to work on my Senior Seminar paper. Draft is due the 22 for my Paul G. Hoffman paper, outline is due the 23 for my contemporary societal issue in Australia paper. I'm kinda tempted to take like, 8 hours and finish the Australia paper. It probably won't take longer than that.

I also have to finish my FE paper. I finally got a hold of Connie Hunt, and she gave me good direction on where to go to finish the research for it. I'll have to work on that too, I have to finish that before the end of the semester.

The last couple of days I have had such amazing encounters with strangers that I find it hard to believe that Suzette finds me abrasive.

I called for my yearly physical, which will be in December. I was talking with the nurse making my appointment, and I was like, "Doctor Balough is my primary, but I had a very good visit with Dr. Osta last year."

So she starts looking through my records, and she was like, "I'm glad you had a good experience with Dr. Osta."

I'm not sure why she said this, but I responded. "It was fun. As good fun as physicals are, that is." The nurse laughed.

The Nurse tried to get me an appointment in October, but I was like, "Oh, no, December please. It's when I'll be home from school and all." And she said that she understood, that she had just transfered to Eastern, and that she was excited to start this winter.

It was just a really good conversation with a nurse on the phone. Normally I get very gruff, over worked replies to things like that.

This morning I got up early, got dressed and left the house. I was going to my appointment for MSU's sibling study, which was at 8:20. At 8:15, I was staring at a bus map, hoping that it'd tell me where Giltner was, and a bus was just stopping. I asked the bus driver if he knew where it was and he told me to hop on. He gave me a free ride (ultimately in the wrong direction) to help me find where I was trying to go. (He mixed up Gilchrist and Giltner.)

I love it when strangers help me out, or make conversation with me.

The sibling study was really interesting. They recorded my voice, and then later I realized that they were using voice recordings of male participants during the questionaire part of the study. I think they were using photos of other participants as well. I spent the time trying to figure out what they were getting at.

Also? I got the phone interview for TfA. Sunday at 4pm, I'll be helping the interviewer get to know me better, so that they can recommend me to go to the day-long interview later in October. I hope this works out.

The last couple of days I have been feeling really out of control. The papers are piling up and it's only the third week of the semester, the reality of having to start planning for postgrad options is hitting hard, and I'm not exercising or eating right like I want to. So, last night, I sat down and wrote out a Problem/Solution list. The problems go: Teach for America, Global Governance, State and Society, Senior Sem, Money, 5k, Graduation, and Job search. And then I listed things underneath the problems that I could do to solve them. After I wrote the list, I called Tim to cry about it. (Is it so bad that crying is part of my process of accepting the challenges ahead of me? Maybe I'll grow out of it someday.)

I also talked with Caitlyn last night too. In the dark, from our beds. Like old times. Between running back and forth to campus, making food, doing homework... we hadn't talked much. I think I fell asleep on her, I hope she'll forgive me.

So... I have a list of problems, and I have a list of solutions. As "Energy and Persistance Conquer all Things" (Ben Franklin), this means that I'll have to make a concerted effort to do a little bit of each thing every night. Read a little bit of my research books, go over my notes, do my homework, and generally make use of my energy.

I went and talked with Chris Foley yesterday about Job Searches and how to go about it. He talked to me about making contact with companies so as to open up a dialogue, and to use them to find contacts about jobs. He also says that if I find a company I really like, that I should talk to him to see if there's an alum there.

He also said that if I really want to teach, I should look into the other teaching fellowships.

I also chose the topic for my Senior Seminar paper -- The Satanic Verses Fatwa Affair as a Cultural Conflict in the United Kingdom. I have to have an annotated bibliography by next Tuesday.

I decided that I can't go to the football game. However, Laura's Roommate Sam's parents always always tailgate. So, I think I'm going to tailgate this weekend. I'm really excited about that. Tim's coming, yay!

So, I talked to the Teach for America recruiter this morning. We had a good conversation -- I told him a bit about myself, he told me about his time in TfA. He took notes on me.

I want to do it. But I have a For and an Against list and and I don't know which way I'm trying to convince myself. I guess I just said that I want to do it.

I want to do it because I believe in antiracism and feminism and teaching for America would uphold these ideals. I want to do it because I know there is no such thing as equality of opportunity. I want to do this because I've studied income gaps and welfare and not achieving and I'm tired of studying WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING about it. I want to do it because it's not safe; it's not a fall back easy choice. I want to do it because I have some classroom experience -- tutoring type things, mostly -- and I know how good it feels when things go right.

I also know how badly it feels when things go wrong. I don't think I should do it because I have a temper. I don't think I should do it because I hesitate to ask for help (though I know once I ask, I'm good at taking direction and advice). I don't think I should do it because I don't do well with unexpressed expectations. I don't think I should do it because it doesn't feel real -- would it feel like a giant service project? Or would I really be involved?

I guess it boils down to being scared. It boils down to the same hesitation that leaves me feeling ineffectual as a policy student, completely prone to mimicry.

Bravery is not my strong point.